Recently, my friend went on her first vacation with kids. I was so excited for her! At the end of it, she messaged me, "How do you do this? Now that we had that vacation, I feel like I need a vacation from the vacation!". I chuckled, mainly because I understood her situation so much. If you're a parent, you most likely pause in the midst of a chaotic day, dreaming of a well needed getaway. You know, the one where you and your spouse are lounging by the beach on sunbeds, the kids are nearby, peacefully building sandcastles. You look on smiling. As the waves dash in, you take a break from an outburst of laughter to sip on your ice cold Pina Colada, wishing you could freeze this moment. "Why can't every day be this perfect?". But then reality hits - you insert your actual children, your actual family dynamics and you're like, " Who am I kidding? It would be too stressful!" So you move on and get back to reality. Is it just a pipe dream though? Are enjoyable vacations over after you have kids? Do you have to leave them at home, or wait until they are older to actually enjoy travel? Having done it a number of times, here are my personal tips on how to not just survive, but enjoy travelling with young kids (and by young, I mean as small as 6 months old!).
Reset Your Expectations- I put this first, because it's key. Just like most things in parenting, vacations will likely look different when you've added a new person. Accepting this new normal and adjusting your mindset, will make it easier for you to actually enjoy your time away. Perhaps vacations before meant sleeping in late, staying out until early morning, romantic dates with your spouse or peace and quiet. Well, now it may not look like that - or at least, not all of it. Vacations with smaller kids may still mean night wakings, early mornings, tantrums, drawn out bed times and feeling tired; but it can still be fun. I see vacations as an investment. You are exposing your child to new experiences. As a family, you're bonding: building core memories. So no, your vacation may not be relaxing and restful, but it can still be exciting, beautiful and rewarding. My view is that vacationing as a family is doing regular life and responsibilities in a different location, with more fun & adventure in the mix. So how does rest come in? I advise trying to factor in one or two days after your family vacation, where you can come home and take things slow before returning to your usual schedule. This is the vacation from the vacation that my friend spoke of. Perhaps, you can take the day off while your kids are in school or with a relative. If you don't have that luxury, try staying home as a family and have a lazy day. These arrangements can help you recover from the energy expended.
Plan a Kid-Friendly Trip- when deciding on where to go, make sure it has amenities and activities that will appeal to your kids. The more things they have to keep them occupied, the happier and busier they will be. What can this look like? A city trip sprinkled with playground stops, children museums, park/zoo visits, toy shopping, amusement parks, pastry, ice cream or candy treats. For tropical vacations, it may mean a hotel with a kiddie pool, splash park, shallow beach, playground, kids club, etc. A good day at the beach/pool is always my top pick - it requires very little on your part and usually tires kids out, so they sleep well! When booking accommodation, I recommend getting a suite or AirBnB instead of a room. It's much more functional for families and helps to mimic home. Your kids have more space to run around without feeling like they're in a box, everyone has more space (which can ease stress) and most importantly, it makes mealtimes easier. Instead of dining out for every meal, having a dining area/kitchenette means some meals can be cheaper, easier and more laidback. You're less concerned about getting everyone ready, spills, good table manners, disturbing other guests and food all over the place. It's dining on your terms, and I believe that can go a long way.
Keep Things Constant- so much will be changing, that it's good to keep some things the same for your little one. Do they usually have milk in the morning, or like a certain food for breakfast? Try to maintain that. Packing their favourite snacks and taking along foods that are staple to your child, can help them feel at home while adjusting to a new environment. Feel free to carry along a few of their favourite toys as well, not just for entertainment purposes, but for familiarity. If you have a particular bed time and wake time for your kids, it's also a good idea to try to stay as close to that as possible (but you can be flexible) to avoid meltdowns from tiredness.
Take Turns- while it's a family vacation, I don't believe you have to feel bound to do everything together. It can be helpful to take turns caring for the kids, so you can actually rest and get your own time and space. If you like to eat out, take time to enjoy a quiet meal alone. If your partner wants to sleep in a bit, take the kids and allow them to do that. If you want to go for a run, or enjoy a particular attraction that may be difficult to maneuver with kids, feel free to do it solo (this also helps you save money). Take time to do things you enjoy individually; it can really sweeten the deal and prevent burn out.
Take Someone Along- this is a luxury and no brainer, but if you can afford to, take along a friend, au pair or relative who can help with the kids. This will definitely make things easier and provide more moments to breathe!
So there you have it! I hope these tips help! Other parents/caregivers out there, did I miss anything?